Police Blotter: Cobalt City Kids Cause Trouble

CCPoliceBlotterEvery year, it seems the masked villains and vigilantes are getting younger. At least that is what our esteemed colleagues here at Cape and Cowl say. Here’s a little proof that the next generation may need some superhero justice as much as the last one.

Flying Teen Crashes Frat Party
A young woman with an unlicensed jet pack crashed through the roof of a frat house near the University of Cobalt City. Claiming that she was there to stop the fraternity from unleashing a mind-controlling substance on the university’s professors, she eluded pursuit by escaping into the skies. The Cobalt City Police Department has asked certain flying citizens to help in the apprehension of this individual and renewed their request to the City Council for the purchase of jet packs for the department. Officers on the scene also took into custody several large glass jars filled with purple smoke.

Shoplifting Blamed On Spooks
Officers located and arrested three juvenile suspects just hours after they stole an Ouija board from a downtown magic store. The owner of the store said that the item was an antique display piece that had been in the shop for several decades. The suspects claimed that they were instructed to take the board after hearing ghostly voices issue from it. All three were released into the custody of their parents. The Ouija board was returned to its owner, who promised to secure it in a more sound-proofed display case.

Dragon Disrupts Library
Ignoring the “no pets” rule at the Cobalt City Central Library, a minor apparently smuggled a small dragon into the stacks. Officers responding to the report of a flame-belching reptile cleared the building and waited for Animal Control. At the same time, a young woman dressed in medieval armor and riding a white horse entered the Library through the main doors. She chased the dragon into the street and the pair were lost in traffic. The owner of the dragon is wanted for questioning about bringing a dangerous exotic species into the city.

Cobalt City Police Blotter Returns to Cape & Cowl

CCPoliceBlotterFollowing a public outcry about the CCPD decision to stop making the police blotter available on their website, the department recently declared it would make the blotter electronically available through publications like this one. We applaud our officers for their commitment to transparency in a city where so many citizens are devoted to disguising their true identities.

Usual Disturbance
A man noticed several parties get out of their vehicles, engage in what appeared to be a fight, and then leave. When asked how he knew it was a fight, he replied that he saw fists and feet fly, somebody punched the road and made the car alarms go off, and half the people involved seemed to be wearing masks or spandex. No evidence of damage, other than a large crack in the pavement, was found.

Duck, Boaters!
An extremely oversized rubber ducky struck a dock used by several recreational boaters. No one was hurt, but the rubber ducky sunk a sailboat belonging to a woman who described herself as important and connected to lawyers who could sue the city. She was advised that a file on this incident had been opened and the owner of the rubber ducky would be ticketed if found.

Time Travel Blamed Again
A naked man apprehended in the Parkside neighborhood blamed time travel for his lack of clothing. Stating that he had been propelled into the past, he claimed the force of this journey had separated him from his pants. The arresting officer reminded him that time travel is not considered a reasonable excuse for violating public decency statues, unlike the annual Solstice Nude Sunrise Greeting.